The One Blog

I am the Dark Lord Egoraptor and I have forged in secret the master blog, the ruling blog, the one blog... TO RULE THEM ALL!

Here's a little history for you who don't know why you came here (maybe you're stupid, a bad typer, or just hopelessly wandering the depths of cyber space like the alley cat you are): I recently moved to the state of 10SE. And by recently I mean about 1 and a half months ago. I decided to keep my adoring fans (all 6 of them) in touch by publishing a newsletter. This, however, proved to be a difficult task given the length it had to be and my inate laziness. So in 7 weeks I only got about 3 published. Then a teacher/mentor/friend/clown-by-night suggested I start a blog. In retrospect, he was the One Teacher/Mentor/Friend/Clown-By-Night... TO RULE THEM ALL!!! So desptie my very best efforts, I have started the blog. Let's get a few rules settled first before the posting madness ensues.

The One Set of Rules... TO RULE THEM ALL!!!

1. No potty mouth. If you use potty mouth, I will smite your comment with my awesome blog master mastery of blogs. I highly doubt this will be a problem since this is a largely comedy based blog, but hey, I know some Lamar (who you may recall fails to understand the art of donutry) sympathizers might get a little tense. Anyone who's listened to Eminem has already heard all the cuss words on the book and Slim Shady knows how to use them better than you, so don't try to show off. If the demand for cussing gets too great, then I'll just post The Real Slim Shady and Without Me for you to download, OK?
2. No whining. Don't be Electronic Girly Men. This site isn't here for you to whine about stuff you don't like. It's here for me to whine about stuff I don't like. Never forget that, EVER!
3. No name calling. That's what pinheads do, you're not a pinhead are you? Because if you are, I'm gonna have to point at you and say "Pinhead, pinhead" over and over until I get bored or see a squirrel outside.
4. Don't correct people's grammar, even if you are an english teacher. It's really, really annoying to have someone waste time pointing out typos etc. Make your arguments on principle not some obscure points. And futhermore, croerct selpilng inst gonig to hlep ayndoby bceause as lnog as the fsirt and lsat ltertes ramien the smae, the hamun mnid can slitl dcepiehr tehm. So save yourself a bunch of time and save your grammatical apple shining for your english teacher.
5. Do not say "TO RULE THEM ALL!" Only I may say that.
6. Do not disrespect "TO RULE THEM ALL!" no matter how many times I say it. I like it. Nuff said.

Do:
1. Post footage of that crazy water skiing squirrel. That rocks.
2. Post unique ideas and viewpoints. Don't just regurgitate Talking Points memos or I will smite you and your comment... OLD SCHOOL!
3. Post your own hilarious viewpoints.
4. Respect the phrase "TO RULE THEM ALL!"
5. Whatever it is you do at other blogs.

I'll add more posts to the site as the week progresses. I'm gonna try to update the site about 3 or 4 times a week.

~Hunter Tenessius Egoraptor